Since marriage is a mystery (Ephesians 5:31-32), anyone who wishes to succeed in marriage should access the secrets to a lasting marriage. This article reveals six secrets to a lasting marriage.

Molly’s Story

Molly (not her real name) enjoyed her marriage until the Covid-19 lockdown. She got married in 2015 and loved her husband so much that her core desire for five years was to spend more time with her husband. They were banking professionals and had limited time together due to their demanding jobs, often leaving them with only the weekends and holiday trips to spend quality time together. Molly wanted more than the weekends and holiday trips and dreamed of a life where she and her husband would be together every second for months or years.

So, when the UK government announced a lockdown in 2020, Molly was excited about it. Unfortunately, she and her husband stopped talking less than three months into the lockdown and eventually divorced.

Just like Molly, many other marriages broke down during the COVID-19 lockdown. In The Guardian UK publication of September 17, 2020, Shirine Khoury-Haq, the chief financial officer of the Co-op group, revealed that the lockdown led to a 300% increase in divorce enquiries in the UK. China also recorded a 300% increase in domestic violence during the Covid-19 lockdown. After the lockdown, they recorded a 200% increase in the divorce rate. According to the US divorce statistics, three weeks into the COVID-19 quarantine, divorce agreement sales hit a whopping 57% increase from the previous two months. 

Why Molly’s Marriage Broke Down

Why did Molly’s marriage break down during the Covid lockdown? Why did the divorce rate increase globally during the COVID-19 lockdown? The Bible reveals that transgressions and offences are unavoidable when there are many words (Proverbs 10:19). Hence, frequent communication, which many think is suitable for marriages, leads to misunderstandings, hurt feelings, and ultimately conflicts. That explains why the divorce rate increased when the COVID-19 lockdown forced couples to be together and communicate more frequently. Remarkably, most conflicts in marriage are rooted in what the couples say and not what they do.

Secrets to a Lasting Marriage

• James 1:19 teaches us to be quick to listen, slow to speak and slow to anger.
• Listening more and talking less will help you avoid saying things that can lead to conflicts.
• Controlling your temper is essential, as people always say the wrong things when angry.
• Don’t speak whenever you are angry.
• Proverbs 17:27 instructs us to consider our words before speaking. Don’t speak unless you have considered the implications of using such words.
• Finally, always pray to God for the grace to control your temper, speak less, and listen more. Prayer can provide the strength and patience needed to follow these guidelines and foster a sense of understanding and empathy towards your partner, which is crucial in resolving conflicts and having a blissful marriage.

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