7 Startling Secrets of Love
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Ivy’s experience with a scammer is a love story of mixed feelings. Ivy (not her real name) met a man who claimed to be an American soldier online. They started chatting daily, and the man sent various pictures of him in a military uniform, making Ivy believe she was genuinely communicating with an American soldier. After eight weeks of consistent chatting, Ivy fell in love with the man. The following week, after telling Ivy he would visit her in the UK, he asked her for a soft loan of $1,000, which Ivy quickly sent him via an American account. A few days later, he asked for $5,000, and Ivy also sent it.
After two weeks, the man told Ivy he was in trouble and needed a loan of $150,000 to settle the problem before visiting her. She didn’t have the money but decided to take a loan from her bank to help him. While Ivy tried securing the loan, the bank’s loan officer suspected Ivy was being scammed and alerted the Police. Within a few days, the Police confirmed it was a scam — the man was not an American, and everything about him, including his pictures, was fake.
Did Ivy lose money to the fraudster because she was not smart? No! She lost money only because she fell in love with the man. When you have a deep affection for someone, you may make decisions regarding the person based on feelings rather than reasoning. To understand it better, let’s look at some startling secrets.
Startling Secrets of Love
- Unknown to many, loving someone makes you vulnerable to the person. Hence, you need a level of protection before loving. By getting married, the marriage covenant, the agreement a couple enters into during marriage vows, provides you with the needed security. Samson the Great fancied Delilah without marrying her, leading to Delilah betraying him (Judges 16:1-30). Similarly, Ivy had a deep affection for the fraudster without any protection, and he defrauded her.
- Significantly, there is no advantage in loving someone before marriage. What matters most is loving your spouse after your wedding. That explains why the Bible encourages couples to love their spouses (Titus 2:3-4), and no scripture says a man should love the girlfriend or fiancee.
- Marrying someone you have a deep affection for does not guarantee happiness because romantic love fluctuates. You can have affection for someone today and hate them tomorrow, which explains why you may now hate someone you fancied previously.
- . It is also the reason many people divorce after marrying their loved ones.
- Since romantic love fluctuates, marrying someone because you fancy them is not beneficial. If you marry someone because you love them, and the love turns to hatred after a while, what happens to the marriage? That is why many people leave their spouses.
- Instead of marrying someone because you fancy them, love a person because you are married to them. If you must have a deep affection for a person before marriage, decide to marry the person before having a deep affection for them. That way, your decision is based on reasoning rather than feelings, ensuring your decision is rational.
- If you have met someone nice but don’t have feelings for them, you can develop the feelings after the wedding, just like Isaac did after marrying Rebekah (Genesis 24:67).
- Interstingly, love that is developed does not fluctuate because it is not based on feelings but on commitment, and it is scriptural. In Titus 2:3-4, older women were asked to teach young women how to develop a love for their husbands. It’s a secret to a blissful marriage.
Have you had a deep affection for them before?
Can you share your experience of loving someone you are not married to?
What part of the article resonated with you?
